The love of my writing comes from a very early age. I started in the primary school with a very childish and simple poem about learning. It had a negative voice because obviously I was a normal child who hated school and studying in general. Then a couple of years later I started writing a horror novel but it was as childish as my first poem mentioned above. In my teenagerhood I was writing a diary what was a very effective tool to cope with my fears and describe my emotions in order to understand them, so basically in this age writing functionated as a therapy. But in parallel, I started writing poems again and soon I realized that they are no longer childish. In 2005 when I got my first job in the bank I was rather concentrating on to get acclimatize in a new place and to learn the basic principles of a financial company. But I have always felt that I need something that helps me to get back in touch with the real side of me so soon I started writing again. I was absolutely aware of the quality of my work so I applied for a writing circle membership and I successfully gained it.
I remember the first task at the circle: I had to write a poem for a painting exhibition. The leader just sent me a picture of a painting and told me that I have one week to write a poem about that. It was extremely daunting and I said that I am not able to cope with that task. Then the leader said something on the phone what was scary at first: “If you are not able to cope with that task, you have no place in this circle.” And then I started staring the painting hopelessly but my creative side finally showed herself. I wrote a poem in the first day (!) and it just took around half an hour. This was one of my best artistic writings of my life. Eventually, the exhibition was great – I just found the public ticket on my computer where my name can be found on as the writer – and the leader told me he was deeply impressed about my work and he treats it much more valuable than the painting…It was one of my biggest compliments ever!
In 2009, I had some personal problems in my life and decided to start a blog to write the fears away from me and to practise artistic writing. At this time I was reading a lot artistic critics and learnt Hungarian as a foreign language. I mean I started boosting my vocabulary with artistic words in order to be professional on my own website. That was the blog that I had been writing regularly for more than one year and my Hungarian friends are still reading it and asking permission about publishing some quotes in their social network profile’s.
This blog was able to satisfy my needs for a short time, but soon, I have become unmotivated. I would have encountered with new challenges and improve further in the mentioned field. Under these circumstances, I planned that I am going to create a new blog, but with many changes. It was a big challenge for me, but it was my dream: the excitement in writing in another language. So that was the point when my proven, psychological Hungarian brand has become available in English with its vividly emotional feature.
The main purpose of the new blog was to gain a higher level of written English in order to pass the Cambridge Advanced exam. So I was just writing it for myself just because of the effective practice. But the other side of the coin is that writing is my defending shelter and I need it more than most. This is something that helps me to identify what is going on deeply inside me and I like to do it for the sake of it as well. Eventually, this blog helps me a lot to know myself more but I am aware of the fact that I can help others as well with the self-help entries, especially with the introduction of the comfort zone. At the moment I would like to pass the higher, proficiency level of the Cambridge exam.
In Hungarian I used to ignore reading other author’s blogs and writings because I felt that I lose my own voice in this process. Other author’s opinions and the way they were writing just confused me and jeopardized my creativity. I just wanted to not be influenced by others to build a genuine and highly impressive voice. My goal was to maintain my own indentity and to create a special, emotional brand. On the contrary, in English is quite the opposite. Being a foreigner, it is a must for me to read and research a lot in English in order to boost my vocabulary and to learn more difficult sentence structures. Its not an easy process but a motivating challenge and my next goal is to write an ebook about Introversion and about the Comfort Zone. Its not about gaining money – obviously if I wanted to benefit from it, I would need a proofreader to correct my mistakes -, its about the love of writing and to express and know myself in a deeper way and to help not just myself but others as well.