Writing as a creative tool

The love of my writing comes from a very early age. I started in the primary school with a very childish and simple poem about learning. It had a negative voice because obviously I was a normal child who hated school and studying in general. Then a couple of years later I started writing a horror novel but it was as childish as my first poem mentioned above. In my teenagerhood I was writing a diary what was a very effective tool to cope with my fears and describe my emotions in order to understand them, so basically in this age writing functionated as a therapy. But in parallel, I started writing poems again and soon I realized that they are no longer childish. In 2005 when I got my first job in the bank I was rather concentrating on to get acclimatize in a new place and to learn the basic principles of a financial company. But I have always felt that I need something that helps me to get back in touch with the real side of me so soon I started writing again. I was absolutely aware of the quality of my work so I applied for a writing circle membership and I successfully gained it.

I remember the first task at the circle: I had to write a poem for a painting exhibition. The leader just sent me a picture of a painting and told me that I have one week to write a poem about that. It was extremely daunting and I said that I am not able to cope with that task. Then the leader said something on the phone what was scary at first: “If you are not able to cope with that task, you have no place in this circle.” And then I started staring the painting hopelessly but my creative side finally showed herself. I wrote a poem in the first day (!) and it just took around half an hour. This was one of my best artistic writings of my life. Eventually, the exhibition was great – I just found the public ticket on my computer where my name can be found on as the writer – and the leader told me he was deeply impressed about my work and he treats it much more valuable than the painting…It was one of my biggest compliments ever!

In 2009, I had some personal problems in my life and decided to start a blog to write the fears away from me and to practise artistic writing. At this time I was reading a lot artistic critics and learnt Hungarian as a foreign language. I mean I started boosting my vocabulary with artistic words in order to be professional on my own website. That was the blog that I had been writing regularly for more than one year and my Hungarian friends are still reading it and asking permission about publishing some quotes in their social network profile’s.

This blog was able to satisfy my needs for a short time, but soon, I have become unmotivated. I would have encountered with new challenges and improve further in the mentioned field. Under these circumstances, I planned that I am going to create a new blog, but with many changes. It was a big challenge for me, but it was my dream: the excitement in writing in another language. So that was the point when my proven, psychological Hungarian brand has become available in English with its vividly emotional feature.

szépThe main purpose of the new blog was to gain a higher level of written English in order to pass the Cambridge Advanced exam. So I was just writing it for myself just because of the effective practice. But the other side of the coin is that writing is my defending shelter and I need it more than most. This is something that helps me to identify what is going on deeply inside me and I like to do it for the sake of it as well. Eventually, this blog helps me a lot to know myself more but I am aware of the fact that I can help others as well with the self-help entries, especially with the introduction of the comfort zone. At the moment I would like to pass the higher, proficiency level of the Cambridge exam.

In Hungarian I used to ignore reading other author’s blogs and writings because I felt that I lose my own voice in this process. Other author’s opinions and the way they were writing just confused me and jeopardized my creativity. I just wanted to not be influenced by others to build a genuine and highly impressive voice. My goal was to maintain my own indentity and to create a special, emotional brand. On the contrary, in English is quite the opposite. Being a foreigner, it is a must for me to read and research a lot in English in order to boost my vocabulary and to learn more difficult sentence structures. Its not an easy process but a motivating challenge and my next goal is to write an ebook about Introversion and about the Comfort Zone. Its not about gaining money – obviously if I wanted to benefit from it, I would need a proofreader to correct my mistakes -, its about the love of writing and to express and know myself in a deeper way and to help not just myself but others as well.

‘Beat about the bush’ effect

In England, there is a commonly used phrase, ‘beat about the bush’ which literally means ‘avoiding the main topic’. However, there is a more accurate expression which explains its historical origin:

“The likely origin of the phrase, ‘beat around the bush’, is derived from early hunting techniques in which unarmed men would walk around the forest beating tree branches and making noise, so as to flush the game from the bush. This allowed the hunters to avoid directly approaching the animals. This technique was most often used in boar and bird hunting and was done as a safety measure due to the razor tusks and the likelihood of a boar charging a hunter. In bird hunting, this was to scare the birds from their cover so that hunters could take them easily. It is possible that the phrase is a shortened version of an old phrase, ‘to beat the bushes for’, which meant someone was seeking something with little effort.

So it was indeed a kind of preparation for hunters to be secured and felt ready before they start pursuing their goals with not so much effort.

Have a look at the bold words. What do you think, what do these words have in common? Yes, they all refer to the attributes of our comfort zones.

image

Being inside our comfort zone basically means that we don’t need to do so much effort to functionate in a way as we got used to. We can choose the easiest ways in our lives just to reduce the anxiety which is an inseparable part of building a new coping mechanism, called a habit. This habit is an automated response which we are not really aware of as we have been continuously practicing it for so long without any concentration. And as we always act in the same ways, our next reaction for a similar situation will remain consistent to our learnt behaviour. Breaking an automated habit is stressful but is a must to expand our personal boundaries.

Truth is, there are one time actions when we finally gather all of our courage and step out of our prison door. It does, however, not mean that our personal boundaries have been successfully expanded as the ‘beat about the bush effect’ is still part of our personality. That is in fact the chief culprit of not being successful in creating a more productive place as we are still not able to lower the limiting effect of our avoiding personality trait.

Contemplating the whole scenario before jumping into a new, possibly fearful situation is a natural habit of Introverts. However, it could eventually turn into overthinking and shuts down our sensitive system. That is why the ‘beat about the bush effect’ can finally rule us. An effective method must be used to be able to ignore our always judging internal dialogue. On the other hand, all Introverts need to be aware that with secure preparation, the beauty and the inspirational excitement of a spur of the moment act literally ceases to exist.

The only moment when we have some control in our lives is now, at this moment. The past doesnt exist, the future is absolutely unpredictable and most importantly, we will never ever be able to gain total control in the present in terms of a future situation. So being totally present at this moment is the only thing we have and the self-belief that we are strong and able to overcome any obstacles in our path.

An introvert’s dictionary and the need for tranquility

Are you aware of your limits and the things what try to force you out of your comfort zone or you are just drifting with the current and dont realize these moments?

I have been deeply impressed by the book of Susan Cain dealing with the major differences between introverted and extroverted personalities. There were moments when I was completely shocked because I just realized that the author is literally speaking about me in terms of introversion.

The provocative question that I started with is in my mind for a long time because obviously I was reading the book mentioned above with the heart of a complete introvert without experiencing something as an extrovert. Basically, every introverts try to be more extroverted because this is the most required personality trait in our society but the true fact is that the attempt to act like an extrovert just reinforces the tension in our soul. As an introvert, I tried a hundred times to take myself out there and act like a non-thinking extrovert, but being a person who’s mind is always thinking about something deep and meaningful, it was absolutely not the same result that extroverted people can easily accomplish in these situations. So I am just wondering, how does it feel to be an extrovert? How does it feel to just drift with the current and concentrate on others and a particular situation without looking inward themselves? How do they feel if they realize that somebody is staring at them?

These questions are a complete mystery for introverts and they are keen to work out the secret. As far as I am concerned, the major problem with introverts is that they become self-conscious in a situation where life forces them out of their comfort zones and they start observing themselves in a very meticulous way what is indeed not so pleasant to experience. Observing your reactions and take care of them is not normal at all because you are far from natural and this observing trait can be absolutely felt from your reaction. On the contrary, being totally present without even thinking about the bad results is in fact the special attribute that extroverted persons have.

introvert-writingBut there is an apparent contradiction in terms of the observing habit of introverts. It can ruin your natural reactions but an effective tool to figure out your usual response to nerve-racking situations. Basically, the prerequisite to take yourself out there more in a calmer way is to observe your reactions first, to know your boundaries and identify your exact feelings in a particular situation. This is the key point to understand yourself in a deeper level and then you can focus your energy entirely on the next step. Its not an easy process but can be learnt.

Another thing that I figured out in connection with this issue is that introverts prefer tranquility more than anything. We dont like conflicts and do anyhing to avoid them. We usually have unique hobbies that help us to recharge our batteries and to balance our soul. For me, this has always been writing (in my native language), and it helps me to clear my head and inspire my hidden creativity. Solitude is something that I am not afraid of to experience. I love letting my senses overflow and enjoying the fact that I am not disturbed and distracted from my real self by others. This is a precious time that I spend with myself and I need it more than most to flourish. Maybe that is the reason why we are able to focus entirely on our goals, because we dont split ourselves into too much pieces.

Obviously, it doesnt mean that we dont like people, we do. And most importantly, we are yearning for deep and meaningful relationships full of with passion and gentleness instead of shallow ones. We always go out of our ways to make our loved ones happy just see a smile in their faces. But in the meantime, we require solitude as well when we are not disturbed and can easily deal with our goals and plans. That is the way we like to be treated.

The digital frontier

Would you be able to describe how the sun looks like to a computer program who has never seen that wonderful phenomenon before? How would you do that?

One of my favourite films, Tron (1982) was dealing with the question that what happens if the created world turns against the creator and shows a new aspect of the computer world which was a very new and odd issue in the beginning of the 80’s. I remember, that I have seen this film when I was a child – because it was one of the favourite films of my Dad – and I didn’t understand so much. As the years passed I have realized that this film wasn’t made for children who doesn’t know anything about this digital frontier.

In 2010 the story was continued by the release of the new version called Tron Legacy. It is not essential to know the old version because the new film is a new story but with the old actors – fortunately.

Kevin Flynn – Jeff Bridges -, the creator of the digital frontier and the head of the biggest IT company, called Encom just disappears one day and nobody finds him. His son, Sam starts searching for his father and he finds himself landing into a digital world where he is treated like a program like anybody else and the problems just start to occur when it becomes obvious that he is indeed a user not a program…

To be frank, I don’t like cinema so much, I prefer watching movies at home, but in case of this film my priorities have been changed because of the special effects and the wonderful music. So I have seen this film 5 (!) times in the cinema in Hungary, firstly in IMAX, and I have successfully taken my Dad to the cinema as well in order to give him a new experience in connection with his favourite film and I was waiting for the DVD for a half year just like an obsessed child.

Not just the effects are interesting but the story as well that is spiced with lots of emotions which are mainly rooted in the „father and son encounter” after so many years. This touching line has been enhanced by the special music which was made by the famous electronic music band, Daft Punk. Since the first watch I always have goosebumps if I hear this excellent music from them…After the first, IMAX experience, it was a special feeling to know how does it feel when I am just in a created world and I have to return to my ordinary life. The music was in my head on the way home and was hard to sleep cause I was impressed so much.

Another interesting issue in the film is that the character of Clu is indeed Jeff Bridges who has acted this role as well with a special camera on his head so his facial gestures have been perfectly copied and modified by computer effects which has led to a younger looking version of him.

Of course, the end of the story has not been closed so the continuation just depends on the viewer’s imagination…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ay_H0p2YDk&feature=relmfu

“I read somewhere…how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong…but to feel strong…” – Into the Wild

Have you ever wondered that escaping from your current situation could probably be an efficient way to realise something more important within yourself? Are you aware of the presence of your allegedly defending but indeed limiting system, called the comfort zone? Whether or not, it’s time to experience the ultimate freedom…

Into the Wild is an enthralling – and indeed a true – story about the insane experience-gathering activity in our path, accompanied by the solely measurement in the nature. From another aspect, it is treated as a harsh criticism of our materialist society. I have seen this story first in film and it has made a wonderful impression on myself. This outstanding experience has been dramatically increased by the English book what I got from one of my last boyfriends.

The main character of the story is a young man, called Chris McCandless, who wasted his time for attending universities just because of his parents’ desire. He was one of the best students in the university with excellent subject results, but he always felt that he is not a true participant of the American, permanent money-seeker society. He was an introverted person who really liked reading deep writings and poems in connection with real life and his own thought-flowing processes were also treated as an important evidence of his special soul identity.

One day, Chris decided to step out from the not-so-emotional society which was not able to give him the mostly wanted happiness, and burning his documents without any deep fear and regret, he immediately went to explore the never-ending unknowable. He always wanted to measure himself in a natural venue and fight a lonely battle with the “rock” without any possible help. During his path, there were a lot of people who made a deep impression on the boy, but he didn’t want to say stop to his adrenalin-seeker personality and went ahead to find the highest level of measurement and freedom. But soon he realized that something that he had discovered to be valuable is only able to give him the highest level of joy if he can share it with someone whom he loves the most. The realization was so vivid, that’s why Chris had to fight with the nature again, just on his own to fulfill his own duty.

This film is highly recommended for everybody who doesn’t accept the pressure of our always-thirsty society which figuratively forces us to play a particular role in its superficial show-off parade.

This precious, once-in-a-lifetime journey with this guy indicates a highly sophisticated form of self-awareness – which cannot be available without an unlimited amount of honesty. Bear in mind, that every single nuances about self-recognition that you are going to gain from this movie were already within you, waiting desperately to be revealed and taken into account.

Trailer:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=taFaFEuwHLQ