Are you aware of your limits and the things that try to force you out of your comfort zone or you are just drifting with the current and dont realize these moments?
I have been deeply impressed by the book of Susan Cain dealing with the major differences between introverted and extroverted personalities. There were moments when I was completely shocked because I just realized that the author is literally speaking about me in terms of introversion.
The provocative question that I started with is in my mind for a long time because obviously I was reading the book mentioned above with the heart of a complete introvert without experiencing something as an extrovert. Basically, every introverts try to be more extroverted because this is the most required personality trait in our society but the true fact is that the attempt to act like an extrovert just reinforces the tension in our soul. As an introvert, I tried a hundred times to take myself out there and act like a non-thinking extrovert, but being a person who’s mind is always thinking about something deep and meaningful, it was absolutely not the same result that extroverted people can easily accomplish in these situations. So I am just wondering, how does it feel to be an extrovert? How does it feel to just drift with the current and concentrate on others and on a particular situation without looking inward themselves? How do they feel if they realize that somebody is staring at them?
These questions are a complete mystery for introverts and they are keen to work out the secret. As far as I am concerned, the major problem with introverts is that they become self-conscious in a situation where life forces them out of their comfort zones and they start observing themselves in a very meticulous way that is indeed not so pleasant to experience. Observing your reactions is not normal at all because you are far from natural and this observing trait can be absolutely felt from your reaction. On the contrary, being totally present without even thinking about the bad results is in fact the special attribute that extroverted persons have.
But there is an apparent contradiction in terms of the observing habit of introverts. It can ruin your natural reactions but an effective tool to figure out your usual response to nerve-racking situations. Basically, the prerequisite to take yourself out there more in a calmer way is to observe your reactions first, to know your boundaries and identify your exact feelings in a particular situation. This is the key point to understand yourself in a deeper level and then you can focus your energy entirely on the next step. Its not an easy process but can be learnt.
Another thing that I figured out in connection with this issue is that introverts prefer tranquility more than anything. We dont like conflicts and do anyhing to avoid them. We usually have unique hobbies that help us to recharge our batteries and to balance our soul. For me, this has always been writing (in my native language), and it helps me to clear my head and inspire my hidden creativity. Solitude is something that I am not afraid of to experience. I love letting my senses overflow and enjoy the fact that I am not disturbed and distracted from my real self by others. This is a precious time that I spend with myself and I need it more than most to flourish. Maybe that is the reason why we are able to focus entirely on our goals, because we dont split ourselves into too many pieces.
Obviously, it doesnt mean that we dont like people, we do. And most importantly, we are yearning for deep and meaningful relationships full of with passion and gentleness instead of shallow ones. We always go out of our ways to make our loved ones happy just see a smile in their faces. But in the meantime, we require solitude as well when we are not disturbed and can easily deal with our goals and plans. That is the way we like to be treated.